Motherhood
[thumb:1573:l] It’s still odd sometimes thinking that I’m a mommy. Even when I was a little girl I never really got into playing mommy and baby. I’d play house with my friends but we’d get into the cooking more than taking care of the babies. When I was younger I thought that babies and little kids are cute but only for a little while. I’d get bored and tired of entertaining them and I couldn’t wait for mommy or daddy to come get them. Oh, I hate poopoo too. I never want to babysit if the kid’s not potty trained or if I have to, I’d have my ex-husband do the dirty work. Back then, being kidless was the thing for me and for a little while thought that no kid was the thing for me. Especially I love to travel and just go out whenever I please and work, work, work. Kato was good enough. I could leave him and if it was an extended time, there’s this good kennel I’d take him to in Boise. I was not envious of mommies.
[thumb:1572:r] But things happened, Emma came along and I’ve joined the mommy band wagon. Instead of nice restaurants and clubs we’d go to more family friendly establishments and most of the time we can’t remember the last time we went to the theatre (it use to be a more frequent trip). I used to love mini skirts and now I felt like mommies shouldn’t be wearing such things. I still have them but I’d only wear them at home. I remember my co-workers harassing me about the length of my skirts but now it’s more of a surprise if any.
I’ve known how to cook for a while but it was just easier to eat out sometimes than cook. But now, also the fact that there’s no good restaurant here, I’ve been a better cook so that Emma can eat well. You know how picky kids can be. Drew often thought that I do to much for the child but I’m all about giving 110%. Instead of browsing for the latest Photoshop brush I’d be on three websites at once looking for info for the current issue, e.g. 5-mo-old recipes. Instead of learning some cool script, I was learning how to sign elephant or change diaper.
Instead of planning the next trip we use the time off to visit families so that Emma can know them well or if we do go somewhere it’s nowhere exotic or romantic. The first thing I look at is: family activities and if the hotel is kid friendly. We can leave her with grandma and grandpa here and there but I know that I’d feel bad because I’d feel like she’s missing out. I mean she’d enjoy the beach, Eiffel tower or New England, right?
So motherhood really changed a lot of my choices. Although I miss those days where I could just do whatever I want to do I wouldn’t trade Emma for anything. She’s been a whole new experience for me and even though I sometimes want to pull my hair out or I swear that the gray hair are from her (and sometimes Drew, ha!) she’s given me more warm and fuzzies, smiles, giggles, silliness, and laughter. Come on, would you be sliding down the park slide if it wasn’t for a 3-year-old? Do I want another one? Now, that’s a big debate.